Silence, well quietness at least

Recently I came downstairs after settling B into his cot for the night and the house was unusually quiet. C was working on the computer, but for once there was no tv or music to keep him company. The dogs were fed and quiet. It was amazing - I could think!

At that moment it struck me how uncommon it now is to have quietness within the house, there is usually music, maybe a jumperoo playing another tune, or at least just being jiggled around by a beautiful baby boy who is either chattering his own little language or blowing raspberries, dogs scampering around, the hum of a dishwasher or washing machine, the phone ringing, texts arriving or the ping of "you've got mail". With all this going on my brain is never able to switch off, there is a constant list of things to do and I am always multi-tasking, like so many others. But that moment of still and calm was precious, never have I appreciated it so much, that first sip of wine as I stood in the kitchen about to start cooking dinner was just fabulous.

I tried to re-create this tonight, C went out to see some friends, I stayed home to try and keep B on his bedtime schedule. A little bit of me was looking forward to having B in bed and the house, essentially, to myself. However, it was not the same. As I was upstairs settling B the dogs were unfed and restless downstairs barking at every little noise, unknowingly postponing their dinner further as they startled the baby and I had to start the process all over again. When I got downstairs if felt wrong ... empty. Then it struck me, it is the companionable silence with my husband that I love, knowing that he is there should I wish to tell a joke or relive a moment and being ready to listen to him, whilst at the same time sharing the knowledge that our baby boy is sleeping upstairs, that is what is so special, not necessarily the silence itself. As I realized this it made me remember some advice that we were given on our wedding night by one of my mum's friends, he said to C "On your wedding day everyone tells you how you should enjoy spending time together and all the things that you will do hand in hand throughout the rest of your life, but my advice is that you sometimes go to your own parts of the house but rest in the knowledge and comfort that your loved one is just on the other side of the wall". Never before have I understood that advice so well.

B & F share a rare moment of calm